Heath's Vlog

I am taking a break from vlogging, blogging, twitter, facebook, etc for a while. I have been doing a lot of thinking this holiday season and I have realized there are things I need to work on personally. I have met some great people online, some I have got the chance to meet and hang out with and that is awesome, I hope to meet more of the people I have met online. It’s helped me broaden my scope and I have learned so much but….but these last few years have been….well they have been life but they have also been some lost years I think.

Somewhere along the way I stopped doing things that made me happy and brought me joy, I got caught up in life so much that I forgot how to truly “live” life. I let other people’s dream become my own and I got caught up in all “this” and by this, I mean vlogging, facebook, twitter, etc. At first it was fun but now….now it seems like something I am “supposed” to do because everyone else is. And to be honest, I am not good at this whole online social media. I would rather talk to a person face to face, call them on the phone, meet them for lunch, for drinks, for dinner. Of course when you do know people all over that’s not easy, but we can still write notes to each other. I actually remember a time when I did write people, I remember a time when I emailed them, heck does anyone really use email other than work and to get newsletters or such anymore? I am sure some do, but now everything is an update on twitter or on facebook, if it can’t be said in 140 characters does anyone really want to listen?

I dove head first into vlogging 4 years ago, I wanted to do some many things and to be honest most of the time it’s been a blast but this last year and a half….it hasn’t been a lot of fun. It has more to do with me than anything else, my life has changed a lot in a year and a half. My daughter got pregnant, became a single parent and Glenna and I became grandparents. And my world changed, I never had the experience of a baby in my life, Jimmy and Marie were 6 and 4 when Glenna and I got married, they had just turned 6 and 4 actually. At 22 I was a husband and a father, to little kids….man looking back I was sooo not ready for that responsibility. I had no idea what being a husband or father was…..it was all on the job training with no chance for a learning curve. I made so many mistakes, it’s a miracle that we survived…lol I couldn’t ask for a better life partner than Glenna, she put up with so much….she saw not just the person underneath the facade, but she saw the person I wanted to be and she was willing to stick around for that. I love her with all my heart and soul. I would be a lesser person than I am without her and that is a fact. I have seen my kids grow up, from preteens, to teenagers to now young adults. It was not always easy, in fact it was hard, very hard at times. But now I am so proud of both my kids. My son, Jimmy at 24 is a half owner of a business, he works hard everyday, hardly ever asks for anything, even when he needs it. I have seen before my eyes him growing up to be an awesome man. I thank God for that everyday. I have seen my little girl become a mom, it’s not easy on her. I have a whole new respect for single parents and I have a whole new level of respect for my daughter. She has taken on this responsibility, this gift with all of her heart. She gets up everyday and works hard to provide for herself. She has a great will, that I know one day will serve her well. She has also given me the greatest gift I have ever received, my grandson Jaymisen. And I really do consider being a grandparent a gift, it’s a joy, I love getting up in the middle of the night with him, holding him, playing with him. It’s awesome.

I got a little sidetracked there but I am just going with the flow of where this post takes me. So my life has changed, some for good and some not so good. I have no idea what the future holds but I know for right now, I need to work on a few things. One is my friendships and the other is my faith. I have lost sight of some things in those two areas and it’s time I get those back on track. The other thing I need to work on is my relationship with Glenna, I feel like I have started to just be here in person but not in spirit. So I need to go back and do those little things that let her know how much I love her and cherish her. I have to find my balance again and what better time to start than now?

So I am just going to take a break for a bit, how long that is, I don’t know. I may lurk around, and if I get a wild hair, I may post something or comment. Or I just may write you an email and ask how you are doing and how life is going.

Heath